Mediation

Mediation is not the soft option

Issue

Is mediation just divorce for people who get along?

Rule

A mediator is neutral. She helps you both reach terms, but she can't advocate for either of you.

Translation

You keep control of the outcome. You also keep the homework.

Mediation works when both people can sit at a table and negotiate, even if they can barely stand each other. It is private, usually faster, and the terms are yours instead of a judge's.

Because the mediator represents neither side, many people keep their own consulting attorney to review the deal before signing. That isn't distrust. It's due diligence.

Mediation is a poor fit when there is a safety concern or a serious imbalance of power. In those cases, say so early.